Reminded that God is sovereign

Okay, this has been a really soft subject for me and I kept a secret from most of the people I know because it hurt SO MUCH. Its time for me to share this story though because I know it will encourage someone else.

Last year, I experienced one of the greatest joys of my life. It was when my wife and I looked each other in eyes said “I can’t believe it, we are REALLY having a baby!” The joy that raced through my body was only matched by the joy I felt when I said “I do.” But that joy was short-lived.

After running the blood work a few times, a trip to the ER and 3 sonograms our worst fears were confirmed: we had a miscarriage. I had heard of people having miscarriages, but I didn’t really understand the sadness associated with it until we had our own. The pain from that equalled the joy of pregancy. I literally well up with tears thinking about it as I type this. We were 7 weeks  along when the baby was lost.

We cried and hugged and cried some more. I started to ask God “why!?!?!?” but instead I rested in Romans 8:28. I didn’t know how, but I knew it would work out for our good.

3 weeks later, mom collapsed. My wife was a mess! First the miscarriage, now this. As I watched her being so stressed out it made her physically ill, I had the thought “what if she was still pregnant?” The stress she was under at this time, she would have had a miscarriage and the guilt would have been tremendous. She would have felt guilty that she couldn’t control her emotions enough to save the baby. She would have been mad at God or her mom for having this happen and causing that to lose our baby. The family would have been crushed to deal with mom’s condition AND losing our baby. That would have been too much for us to bare.

So now I see that God, in His sovereignty showed us we could have children (something we were beginning to be concerned about) but didn’t put us in an unbareable situation. It hurts like heck, but so does alot of other stuff that works for my good.

So to you I say what God inspired Paul to write to the Roman church:

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

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5 Comments »

  1. wistle Said:

    This is a very inspirational post.

    http://www.100steps.wordpress.com

  2. suzanne Said:

    thank you for sharing

  3. Alastair Vance Said:

    We had a miscarriage at 7 weeks in too. We went on to have three wonderful healthy kids. God is good and his plan is perfect.

  4. jamal burley Said:

    i got ur message n thnx but i would also wanna say im Xtremely sorry for wut happened. i had no idea u were holding dis in ur head, n wut happened wit pastor Marry wuz terrible. i really n trully admire ur strength to continue doin wut u do fo us at the youth group. my mom was expectin her first child many many years ago n she had a miscarage. wen she told me i wuz stunned. i didnt think things like dat were so common but i see they are, n i bet its difficult goin thru sumtin like dat. im gonna pray fo u n mrs. nicole along wit pastor Mary. i “wish” u the best n thnx again.

  5. Jean-Philippe Said:

    Steve, great to hear from you. I appreciate your transparency in your blog here. Your blog overall looks real tight. Keep shining and staying in the light. Be blessed.

    – jp


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